PROVERBS 17:9
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.
To pick a scab or not
Chicks dig scars; at least this is what men like to think. Scars demonstrate we are tough enough to survive an attack and muscle through the pain. When a man has a scar it can become a thing of honor. However, this is not the case with all scars.
Some scars you try to hide. If a scar is too hideous or embarrassing or caused by our stupidity or if it is emotional we try to bury it beneath cosmetics and facades. With all the hype surrounding scars it is no wonder we struggle to forgive and move forward. Learning from the things that hurt us is important, but when we continually show off our scars true healing cannot take place.
When we dwell on the pain, the wrong that has been done, or even the act of forgiveness we keep the wound from healing. Forgiveness is just the first step. When God forgives us the blood of Jesus covers our sin so it is no longer visible. In the same way we find healing when we allow God’s grace to work through us to cover over the hurt and pain.
Like a scab covering a wound, if left alone, will help the wound to heal with little visibility. When you pick your scabs, you end up with prominent scars. Forgiveness means we no longer need to remind each other of the pain (pick the scab), the covering of forgiveness is the healing scab reducing the lingering effects of the wound.
Jesus, you reached out to me with forgiveness even before I knew I had hurt you. Help me to forgive others who hurt me enabling us to move forward in your love and grace. - Dan Jones
PROVERBS 17:1
Better a dry crust eaten in peace
than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.
Contributing to the family feast
I cannot imagine living in a home where conflict shows itself in various ways every day. I’ve witnessed spouses stabbing at each other and grown siblings squabbling like 8 years olds. I’ve observed what happens when parents guilt trip their kids, when husbands control their wives, when sick relationships feed of each other. Gimme a shack with just enough room for me and a crust of bread, thank you!
Of course, healthy family life isn’t just about me enjoying the health produced by others. As I watch my parents (by blood and marriage) age I’m confronted with the reality that too often I’ve depended on their contribution to make my family system healthy. As they become wrapped up in health issues I’m realizing more and more that my attitudes and actions contribute significantly not only to the health of my immediate family, but also my extended family. A life-giving household (extended family) is about me contributing to that health.
The prevention and resolution of conflict demands my efforts. I cannot simply sit at the table and enjoy a wonderful family feast where all is well, except that I pay the price to contribute to that wellness. And very often that contribution means overlooking the flaws and failure of family members, bearing with family when life turns ugly for them, going he second mile, and seeking to understand.
I dare not take a crust of bread and head off into my own corner until I’ve done all I can do to contribute to a house filled with feasting without festering.
Heavenly Father, forgive me my selfishness in those times I haven’t evaluated my influence of my family system. Grant me increasing resolve and ability to interact with family in a way the feeds life rather than starves it. - Mike Leamon
No comments:
Post a Comment