“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
A hidden truth wrapped in an obvious sentence
Perhaps no other command seems so obvious, so simple and straightforward as this one. This fundamental law of reciprocity finds expression in virtually every religion. One Wikipedia writer reports neuroscience research that suggests this “fair play” rule is hard wired into our brains.
I think, however, that the Golden Rule isn’t so straightforward as a casual reading might suggest. George Bernard Shaw captured this reality in his criticism, "Do not do unto others as you would expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." He’s right, of course. For example, I’d love for you to take me out to a restaurant and a movie of my liking, not yours. And you might torture someone else by taking them to any movie!
I listened to a management lecture once during which the leader insisted he’d one-upped Jesus. His Platinum Rule went something like this. Find out what the other person would like and treat them that way.
Seems to me that this man, and Shaw, and perhaps most of us, haven’t stop to think through the Golden Rule. Taking time to discover who I am, what makes me tick, what makes me feel loved and valued, that is exactly what I most desire from others. Am I mistaken to think that is exactly what everyone would want? Beneath all the specific and surface acts or words is the underlying desire to be treated as a unique and significant person.
Trouble is, I don’t want to take the time and invest the effort to listen to others, to become a student of what makes different people tick, and to offer those deeds and words that resonate with who they are. I’m too busy living my life and dealing with my stresses and issues to have the energy, or honestly, the desire, to invest in others this way. It’s much easier, faster, and less involved, to offer some act that I, myself, would enjoy or find meaning in giving, and consider this Golden Rule fulfilled.
So I need to hear Shaw’s criticism. It reminds me of how fundamentally selfish I am.
Father, as I interact with the people around me each day, help me to develop skills of listening and observation, so that I better give to them those deeds and words that truly nourish their value and personhood. - Mike Leamon
Fools Gold
Living according to the golden rule gets old real fast if that is all we have to motivate us. I have done good to people repeatedly and all I have received in return is an expectation to keep giving. After a while you feel like a cheap dish rag, used and worn out.
It seems like most everybody is in favor of the golden rule. We even see it in public schools. However, trying to live the golden rule for the sake of the golden rule never lasts very long. We need, I need, something deeper.
I think Jesus recognized this as well. The Golden rule is not left hanging in limbo; it is tied directly to the law and the prophets. The Golden rule is the essence of the law and the prophets, but it is not enough on its own. The law and the prophets all pointed in two directions: vertical and horizontal. The Golden rule describes how our horizontal relationships should be characterized, but left unattached to the vertical relationship a horizontal relationship will never be complete.
Jesus is not saying, life is all about doing good to others and that is it. No, Jesus places this rule of thumb in the midst of two vertical relationship guides: gaining our strength and purpose from God (ask, seek, knock) and discovering the pathway of relationship to God (enter through the narrow gate). The Golden rule is fools gold if we think we can live it out on our strength. We cannot do it. But in the power of God we can actually do to others as we would have them do to us, instead of doing to them what we think they deserve.
God of all power and grace, I need your grace and power in my life to enable me to love others as I desire to be loved. Help me not to react defensively, but in forgiveness and love when others take advantage of me or abuse me. Help me understand how you have acted towards me and to pass on your great love. - Dan Jones
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