Mind Meld of A Different Kind

PSALM 35:11-28 (condensed)
Malicious witnesses testify against me.
They accuse me of crimes I know nothing about.
They repay me evil for good. I am sick with despair.
Yet when they were ill, I grieved for them.
I denied myself by fasting for them,
but my prayers returned unanswered.
I was sad, as though they were my friends or family,
as if I were grieving for my own mother.
But they are glad now that I am in trouble;
they gleefully join together against me.

How long, O Lord, will you look on and do nothing?
Rescue me from their fierce attacks.
Protect my life from these lions!
O LORD, you know all about this.
Do not stay silent. Do not abandon me now, O Lord.
Wake up! Rise to my defense!
Take up my case, my God and my Lord.
Declare me not guilty, O LORD my God,
for you give justice.
Don’t let my enemies laugh about me in my troubles.
Don’t let them say, “Look, we got what we wanted!
Now we will eat him alive!”

May those who rejoice at my troubles
be humiliated and disgraced.
Then I will proclaim your justice,
and I will praise you all day long.

When God disappoints me
There are times God has let me down. He went to sleep on the job (to use David’s emotional words!). When he woke up, he looked on and did nothing. I’ve been disappointed in God several times in my life.

Like the apostle Paul, I’ve asked God to deliver me from a “thorn in the flesh” that I thought was adversely affecting my life and ministry. Like the man Jesus healed, I mustered all the faith I had and asked him to help “my unbelief.” Unlike that man, God didn’t deliver me. With Paul, I was disappointed with God.

I’ve asked for other things, not for material gain but for spiritual experiences. My requests were rebuffed.

Now, through eyes of faith, I know God answered my prayers the way I needed them answered and for my benefit and usefulness to him. My mind is with Paul who recognized that God did not deliver him from his personal enemy (thorn) for a very good reason. But my emotions are with David. I felt disappointment with God.

My faith is richer today because God saw fit to make sure both the emotions and the mind got reflected in scripture. And I’m glad God didn’t write off David, and doesn’t write me off, because I feel disappointed in him. In fact, through David, God wisely encourages me to express my feelings to him, rather than deny them out of fear of his rejection.

Holy God, thanks for not being touchy and easily offended! I will confidently express to you all the emotions stirring in me right along side my faith, hope, and love in and for you. - Mike Leamon

Voices from under the altar
I cannot help but hear the cries of the martyrs from Revelation 6:10 in Psalm 35. The righteous who have been slain on the earth cry out for vengeance and justice. In response to their cries, they are given a white robe and told to wait a little while longer.

I don’t know about you, but I do not like to wait. There are times when you make a call for help and you told, wait and I will call you back. You stand next to the phone, then pace, and then shout at the phone, until finally it rings and then it is somebody else. You get them off the phone quickly because you can’t do anything else until you receive the phone call you are waiting for. Frustrating!

“How long, Lord, How long?” When we wait for God we usually wait the same way, but I think God wants us to wait differently when we wait for him than we do when we wait for others or the phone to ring. When waiting for God we should experience renewal not anxiety; peace not panic; confidence not fear. Isaiah 40 reminds us:

But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Father, teach me to wait on you in such a way that I am renewed in the time of waiting. Help me to put all of my trust in you while I wait. - Dan Jones