Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around him, and as usual he was teaching them.
Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”
Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”
“Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”
But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”
High Road and Hard Hearts
Jesus reflects what he and the Father said together through the Old Testament prophet, M, “God hates divorce” – not divorced people, but the act of divorce. Ripping apart those who have deeply interwoven themselves, mind, body, and spirit, always leaves those involved wounded, even when they may not be capable of identifying the wound.
Notice the linkage between divorce and remarriage. For the ancient mind these are two sides of the same coin. Both assume the other. We cannot separate them into God’s approval of divorce but not remarriage. That would be like saying breathe in just don’t breathe out. Today, Jesus insists that the yin and yang of divorce and remarriage, always results in unfaithfulness to the marriage covenant, “till death do us part” – no matter its reason or who is the primary cause.
Every married person risks failing the marriage vow the moment it’s made. Why? All of us come into marriage with “hard hearts.” This malady didn’t only haunt the people in Moses’ day, but also in Jesus’ day, and ours. Human weakness – blindness to our own sins, the inability to walk in the shoes of a spouse, limited endurance, unhealed scars and ticking emotional time bombs – these, and more, compose a “hard heart.”
The issue each married Christ-follower must ask is not, “Does my Leader approve of a divorce/remarriage” (that answer is always, “no”) but “Have I trusted my Leader to help me work through all the issues I have brought to this marriage?” and “Having given my all to this work and gone the second (and third) mile, has the sad combination of spousal weaknesses conspired to take us beyond any point of marital repair?”
Admitting to a marriage that has failed to live up to God’s perfect standard, whatever the causes, confessing our inability to remain faithful to the marriage vows, and receiving God’s forgiveness and cleansing, sets the divorced person free of condemnation and freedom to find healing. Perhaps most wonderful, it frees the divorced person to move into God’s bright future, not free of complications that come from every divorce, but free of guilt.
Lord of Marriage, grant me the ability to pursue the high road of marriage with all my heart, the humility to confess my own hard heart – a reality that could easily sabotage my marriage, and the grace to be free of any condemnation toward my brothers and sisters who have endured the pain of failed marriage. - Mike Leamon
A Ma
tter of CustomHave you ever wondered why the “strip search, ask about every penny you spent while traveling abroad” department at the airport is called Customs? I have. What is customary about this department? The word custom originated circa the 12th century and meant habitual practice. Perhaps taxing people became such a customary practice the word customs took on the meaning of taxing goods. At any rate, the customs department at the airport is one of my least favorite areas when traveling.
I am struck by the importance of the word in our passage today. The main thought of the passage is clearly divorce, but verse one establishes the mood. In the larger context verse one is often treated as a throw away line Mark includes as a segue from one group of material to another. But in verse one we find what was customary for Jesus is not what was customary for the people of Israel.
Jesus will go out of his way to give himself to the crowds of people longing for his attention. His customary practice was to teach the crowds when they appeared. His norm was sacrificial giving. Not so with the Pharisees or people. We find Moses gave the allowance for divorce due to their hard hearts. No sacrificial sticking it out, but once offended you were free to divorce. It seems from historical record the Pharisees had broadened the reasons for divorce so people were divorcing for reasons we would cite as “no-fault” divorce today. They simply could not get along.
Jesus says these people cannot remarry for when they do they commit adultery. In an age where divorce is as common in the church as outside the church what do we do with this statement? I think Jesus speaks clearly here. People who divorce for reasons of infidelity may remarry. In Jesus’ day the offending partner would have been stoned to death thereby freeing the other party of their obligation not to remarry. In cases of no-fault divorce I think people should remain unmarried providing space and time for reconciliation. Only after the other partner marries would I condone a wedding in this type of divorce.
It seems harsh, but why should the custom of the Church reflect what is customary in the world. Perhaps if we stood firm on remarriage after divorce in some cases people would work harder at reconciliation. Our custom should be patterned after Jesus: sacrificial love for others no matter how inconvenient for us.
Jesus your practice of sacrificial love pushes me in areas I do not like to be pushed. I pray you give me grace and courage to stand with you even when your words are not popular or customary in our culture. Fill me with wisdom when people come to me for advice in tough situations. - Dan Jones
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