Mind Meld of A Different Kind

MARK 1:9-15

One day Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee, and John baptized him in the Jordan River. As Jesus came up out of the water, he saw the heavens splitting apart and the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice from heaven said, “You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy.”

The Spirit then compelled Jesus to go into the wilderness, where he was tempted by Satan for forty days. He was out among the wild animals, and angels took care of him.

Later on, after John was arrested, Jesus went into Galilee, where he preached God’s Good News. “The time promised by God has come at last!” he announced. “The Kingdom of God is near! Repent of your sins and believe the Good News!”

A Settled Heart In An In-Between Life

I don’t like in-between times. In fact, I hate them for their profoundly unsettling nature. Knowing I have a disease and waiting for the test results to tell me what it is – my mind wanders to all the worst case scenarios. Realizing one stage of my pastoral career is over but only sensing hazy indicators what the next stage should be – I feel insecure and pressured.

I wonder what human emotions Jesus wrestled with between his Temple experience at 12 years and his baptism by John now at about 30 years? Were their anxious days when he wanted to push ahead with his mission? Did he experience any uncertainty about what his ministry would look like and feel that unsettled queasiness in his stomach?

And now another 40 days. Wilderness days. Weren’t 30 years in a Nazareth carpenter’s shop test and preparation enough?

Even when Jesus finally inaugurates his three year ministry that would form the warp and woof of the Good News, even then, he only offers, “The Kingdom of God is near!” Not here. Not ready to roll. Just near!

The Christian life is ever an in-between life. So I suppose I should make my peace with it. I think my inward quality of life needs the experience of completion. Jesus doesn’t. He’s ruler, so I’ll trust him to be my peace in this fundamentally in-between life of mine.

Father, grant that I would anchor my heart in the settledness of who you are and the perfection of your love for me. Help me to fix my attention on you daily as the alpha and omega, the finished center of my in-between existence.