PROVERBS 19:11

Sensible people control their temper;
they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Overlooking wrongs is complicated!

A controlled temper doesn’t work unless wrongs are overlooked.

It’s easy to keep a record of wrongs, to let them build up until they create a pile under the living room carpet. Keeping the record stuffed under the carpet may, at first, appear like controlling ones temper. But beware the ticking time bomb.

A lifestyle of overlooking wrongs simplifies life immensely by not allowing tons of garbage to build up in the soul. But arriving at that lifestyle, it seems to me, is a rather complex journey.

People living this lifestyle have dealt with unhealthy and unrealistic expectations of others. They possess a broad and accurate self awareness that has provided a keen understanding of their own nature that falls far short of God’s glory. More, they understand their “hot-buttons” and have resolved the issues that created them.

These people live immersed in the love of their heavenly Father as a daily reality so that their inner security and sense of value cannot be shaken. Grace and mercy define them rather than the sharp edge of fairness or getting justice because they have experienced the death of Christ where God decisively dealt with all wrongs.

Living above wrongs ultimately demands that difficult, and seldom experienced breakthrough to the full realization and experience that life isn’t all about me, my rights, or my happiness. My life is all about God.

God, who dealt justly and mercifully with all wrongs on the cross, help me to break into the light of overlooking wrongs that you once and for all took care of. – Mike Leamon

PROVERBS 19:17

If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord—
and he will repay you!

What criteria to use?

Throwing a few dollars into a street musician’s guitar case does not seem like much, but God notices. In Acts 10 Cornelius was visited by an angel who told him God had seen his contributions to the poor. Jesus told the disciples that whatever we do for the least of these we do for Him and that we may even entertain angels in our hospitality to the poor.

Growing up in a family that pushed responsibility gave me the gift of self-discipline in my spending. This built in responsibility meter goes crazy when I hear of people using charitable proceeds foolishly. I even come to the point where I hesitate to give to others out of fear they will not use what I give them responsibly.

To avoid “throwing my money away”, I establish a criteria of acceptability people must meet in order to receive my donation. Being reminded today that giving to the poor is actually giving to God helps to free me from controlling the gift. Unlike God, who offers the greatest gift ever, salvation, freely without precondition, I have tried to control how others use my generosity. When I adopt the biblical paradigm of helping the poor I understand every gift as unto the Lord liberating me from my legalistic criteria.

Generous God, I confess most of my gifts to others have been accompanied by an attitude of control. Help me to give generously both in content and attitude. Thank you for showing me how to give by giving your own Son for my salvation. – Dan Jones

PROVERBS 18:3
Doing wrong leads to disgrace,
and scandalous behavior brings contempt.

Contemptuous Behavior
The recent display of greed on Wall Street inspires contempt from me for those taking tax money for their own overblown bonuses. So do credit card companies who daily beg ordinary people to charge themselves into extraordinary debt. Church people earn my contempt when their squabbling over peripheral issues drives people away from Christ and his Bride. I could go on.

Pointing the finger at others and venting about their wrongdoing makes me feel just a tad better. I’m getting contempt off my chest and out of my system. Surely that is a healthy thing; except that it also breeds a certain amount of self-righteousness and cockiness – scandalous attitudes to be sure.

Pointing one finger at others leaves the rest aiming at me. Wrongdoing and scandalous behavior lurk around every corner of my faith journey. I am not thinking only of the sex and money scandals the fell big name religious types. I am also thinking of the winked at wrongdoing. Unkind attitudes displayed toward those whose lifestyles disgust me. The way I seek to use power in my church and my country. Grudges I have a hard time letting go of.

Disgracing myself is one thing. Disgracing Christ, whom I claim by using the name Christian, is quite another. While I cannot become morbidly fixated on every wrong action or attitude that comes up short of God’s glory, neither can I merely shrug them off with, “Oh well, he’s still working on me” or a “We’re all sinners” clichés.

Anything that would feed the fires of contempt for Christ must be hated, confessed and repented of. My cross must be taken up daily until scandalous things die.

Holy God, Forgive me when my shortcomings bring disrepute to you. Build in me such a deep desire for you that even a hint of contemptuous behavior or attitude would be immediately crucified. - Mike Leamon

PROVERBS 18:10
The name of the LORD is a strong fortress;
the godly run to him and are safe.

The tower of God
When I visited London via our trip to Zambia we had a couple days to site see. While there we saw the Tower of London where several infamous characters were imprisoned. The Tower of London is what I imagine when I think of a strong fortress. Secured by high, thick walls, water, and well-fortified gates, the Tower is fairly impenetrable.

When I was a young child, I thought of my dad this way. Nobody was stronger than my dad. Nobody could hurt us when dad was around. The presence of dad brought a sense of peace and safety. Now that I am older, I realize the amount of pressure those expectations put on a father.

How comforting to think of God’s presence as a place of safety and security. Realistically, my dad could not protect me from every danger. There were times my dad could not keep me from harm. In the fortress of God I am safe, but even there; I am not guaranteed that nothing bad will happen to me. Job was certainly in the “Tower of God” and look what happened to him. Yet God promised to walk with Job through the ugliness of life and restore his hope and life.

The promise of safety in God is real, yet not absolute. There is eternal security in Christ, and the promise that I will never walk alone, even in the valley of the shadow of death. There is peace and comfort regardless of the trial. To me that will be enough, in the tower of God I find safety in His presence.

God, I know that life will not always go the way I want it to, and yet you have assured me that you will always be with me, no matter what. I am running to you today for safety, for the assurance of your presence in both the good and the ugly of life. - Dan Jones

PROVERBS 17:9

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.

To pick a scab or not

Chicks dig scars; at least this is what men like to think. Scars demonstrate we are tough enough to survive an attack and muscle through the pain. When a man has a scar it can become a thing of honor. However, this is not the case with all scars.

Some scars you try to hide. If a scar is too hideous or embarrassing or caused by our stupidity or if it is emotional we try to bury it beneath cosmetics and facades. With all the hype surrounding scars it is no wonder we struggle to forgive and move forward. Learning from the things that hurt us is important, but when we continually show off our scars true healing cannot take place.

When we dwell on the pain, the wrong that has been done, or even the act of forgiveness we keep the wound from healing. Forgiveness is just the first step. When God forgives us the blood of Jesus covers our sin so it is no longer visible. In the same way we find healing when we allow God’s grace to work through us to cover over the hurt and pain.

Like a scab covering a wound, if left alone, will help the wound to heal with little visibility. When you pick your scabs, you end up with prominent scars. Forgiveness means we no longer need to remind each other of the pain (pick the scab), the covering of forgiveness is the healing scab reducing the lingering effects of the wound.

Jesus, you reached out to me with forgiveness even before I knew I had hurt you. Help me to forgive others who hurt me enabling us to move forward in your love and grace. - Dan Jones

PROVERBS 17:1

Better a dry crust eaten in peace
than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.

Contributing to the family feast

I cannot imagine living in a home where conflict shows itself in various ways every day. I’ve witnessed spouses stabbing at each other and grown siblings squabbling like 8 years olds. I’ve observed what happens when parents guilt trip their kids, when husbands control their wives, when sick relationships feed of each other. Gimme a shack with just enough room for me and a crust of bread, thank you!

Of course, healthy family life isn’t just about me enjoying the health produced by others. As I watch my parents (by blood and marriage) age I’m confronted with the reality that too often I’ve depended on their contribution to make my family system healthy. As they become wrapped up in health issues I’m realizing more and more that my attitudes and actions contribute significantly not only to the health of my immediate family, but also my extended family. A life-giving household (extended family) is about me contributing to that health.

The prevention and resolution of conflict demands my efforts. I cannot simply sit at the table and enjoy a wonderful family feast where all is well, except that I pay the price to contribute to that wellness. And very often that contribution means overlooking the flaws and failure of family members, bearing with family when life turns ugly for them, going he second mile, and seeking to understand.

I dare not take a crust of bread and head off into my own corner until I’ve done all I can do to contribute to a house filled with feasting without festering.

Heavenly Father, forgive me my selfishness in those times I haven’t evaluated my influence of my family system. Grant me increasing resolve and ability to interact with family in a way the feeds life rather than starves it. - Mike Leamon

PROVERBS 16:1, 9, 33
We can make our own plans,
but the LORD gives the right answer.
We can make our plans,
but the LORD determines our steps
We may throw the dice,
but the LORD determines how they fall.

String puppets
Three times in chapter 16 the writer of Proverbs acknowledges God’s sovereignty. Human freedom is limited; God is the one who is ultimately in control.

My dad has a silly looking duck string puppet he uses for children’s stories and cheap laughs. In the hands of a skilled puppeteer, the duck actually looks alive. You can make it walk, dance, stretch and move, but it only is as coordinated as the hand on the sticks.

My dad’s puppet has one natural movement, down. Each part of the body is weighted, making the puppet constantly pull against the strings. I wonder if that is how we respond to God in our sinful state. Naturally we only move in a downward direction, further removing ourselves from God. Since we are made in the image of God I think there is a desire to pull ourselves up, but only God can reverse the pull of gravity (sin) in our lives. Only the power of God can liberate us from our downward spiral.

At times it is frustrating to think of my plans as nothing. To think that all my efforts are like dice tumbling on a table. On the other hand, there is great comfort in knowing God is in control of where I land, and the steps I take. Understanding God’s plans are for my good brings assurance. When I am tempted to cut the strings of my life from God’s hand, it is good to remember the only direction that takes me is down. Attached to God, I can keep moving forward and upward.

God, there are times when I do not understand your plans or the steps you take me through, yet I believe you are in control and will bring good into my life through your sovereign plan. I want to surrender my scissors to you today. - Dan Jones

PROVERBS 6:23
From a wise mind comes wise speech;
the words of the wise are persuasive.

Critical Mind
So how does one develop a wise mind? It takes more than stuffing it with knowledge otherwise the really smart people would be the wisest. But they aren’t. Reading lots of books and listening to lots of teachers and preachers may be a good start, but it’s a long way from profound insight, deep understanding, or broad-based assessment.

Life-long learning must combine with accumulating experience to produce wise thinking. The ancient world valued the old – “elders” – as wise ones. So the first churches called their leaders “elders”. And that’s what they tended to be, older people. I think painful experiences, or any event that leads well beyond one’s comfort zone, holds special potential for developing wisdom.

But a lifetime of experience doesn’t guarantee a wise mind.

It seems to me that to learning and experience one must add critical thinking; an inquisitive mind that is driven by the annoying habit of asking uncomfortable questions. It’s easy to settle into pat answers and formulaic living. We buy uncritically into the assumptions of our culture and sub-cultures, with little evaluation we embrace the words of our favorite teachers or authors who affirm our own preconceived notions. We dismiss insight from those outside our own truth circle.

To be sure, critical thinking not informed by education and untempered by experience leads headlong into foolishness and a sad shadow of wisdom – ingredients for the making of a fool. A wise mind, I think, demands all three.

Wise Father, forbid that I ever settle into pat answers or formulaic living. Help me to ask the right questions; risky, unpopular or not. Guide me into healthy critical thinking, especially about my own assumptions and world view. - Mike Leamon

PROVERBS 15:4

Gentle words are a tree of life;
a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Self-Deceipt

Some dear sensitive Christians get upset when they lie to cover up a surprise birthday party but live a lie every day unaware of their deceitfulness. Methinks we strain grounds out of our coffee while swallowing the coffee maker whole. I know I have.

To deceive means to turn something upside down; to give an opposite spin on something or someone than what is true. I’m dying inside but work hard to make sure everyone thinks I’m the most alive person in the office. I struggle with sin but am relieved to know that everyone at church views me as Saint Michael. I get out of bed the same way everyone else with one of these luxuries does (feet first!) but feed the persona of being a little better than the average joe.

I’m fascinated that the proverb contrasts a tongue that feeds upside down perceptions with a tongue that offers words that are gentle, literally healing. Could it be that refusing to pretend to be something I’m not is like picking life-giving fruit off the tree and offering to others? Could it be that my risk of honesty and transparency actually feeds life in others while my deception – often self-deception – feeds death?

Word of God, you sought to reveal yourself by entering my world and you call me to live in light rather than shadows. Grant that I would live as transparent as Jesus did and that such honesty would release others to be honest about themselves. And that we both would find healing and health in you. – Mike Leamon

PROVERBS 15:17

“A bowl of vegetables with someone you love
is better than steak with someone you hate.”

Bring on the veggies!

How many times do I pursue wealth at the expense of relationships? Probably more than I would like to admit. I don’t feel like I chase after money, but I do work hard and often spend more time at work than I do with my spouse. Over time my marriage suffers. This happened last fall. I was teaching two courses via a translator and writing all the materials for the class since reading materials were non-existent. During this time our church was in the middle of a capital campaign in addition to the regular fall and winter activities. I was spending so much time at church I began neglecting my wife.

It happens so subtly, we say yes to good things but do not say “no” to anything we were previously doing. One more layer of responsibility is added to our work load creating more distance in our most important relationships. When we accumulate riches in one area of our lives, other areas will suffer. If you value relationships first, your bank account will suffer as you have less time for work. If you value money most, your relationships will suffer as they are put aside for the pursuit of money.

Balance is essential, but an understanding of what is most important in my life is the only way I can achieve a balance. If left to itself, my schedule will slowly fill with activity that precludes time with my wife. So bring on the vegetables for me, and occasionally we will even have steak.

Abba Father, you created me for relationship with you and others. Help me to balance my schedule today so my relationships are enhanced and my work is accomplished. – Dan Jones

PROVERBS 14:4
Without oxen a stable stays clean,
but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.

Holy Risks
Jesus told a story that illustrates this proverb. There was a ruler who went away and entrusted his money in the care of three men. One man received $5,000, the second $2,000 and the third $1,000. When he returned the first and second men had doubled their money while the third had hid it, and gave back the man exactly what was given to him. The ruler was pleased with the first two servants and rewarded them, but stripped the third of all he had.

It seems unfair; the third man did not lose any money. He just played it safe and took no risk. The parable and proverb point to an unsettling expectation of God for his children. God expects us to take a risk with His resources instead of hoarding them and playing it safe. God expects us to use our gifts, talents, money, and time to increase His holdings in the world.

God expects us to be actively investing in the world around us. True, at times we will “lose” money, but Scripture seems to indicate the results of our investments are not God’s critical concern. God calls us to invest all we have and let Him worry about the results.

Holy investor in the world, your illustrated investment portfolio shows me how you risked it all to rescue me through Jesus. Help me to risk everything you have given me to rescue those around me. – Dan Jones

PROVERBS 14:30
A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body;
jealousy is like cancer in the bones.

Passion battles
The word translated jealousy, in other contexts means sexual passion or ardor for God. Here it means a passion to possess for myself what others have. I know this passion but wish I had never made its acquaintance.

I suppose none of us has a choice but to meet up with this cancerous creature. It’s that subtle thing called sin tucked deep into the human soul that makes our meeting anything but chance. And I suspect that this is one of those creatures that lurks around each corner long after followers of Jesus have fully surrendered their hearts to Christ and sought to be purified in love.

A genuine passion for God grants me the strength to resist the temptation to become possessed by a passion for things and experiences I’d enjoy, but am forced to leave to others. If I didn’t tithe, I could… If I had pursued another, better paying career, I could…

I could get all wrapped up in pursuing things and experiences others dangle in front of me, that advertisers tell me I need in order to be fulfilled, and that my country wants me to run out and buy in order to help turn our economy around.

Truth is, I have a settled heart. Nothing will replace my passion for God. But I have to confess that I do not always have a peaceful heart. There are times the disgusting creature of jealousy and envy breaks through my defenses and I have to re-conquer the territory.

God of Peace, I commit myself to fight off this intruder as often as I need to and will celebrate the day when you choose to grant peace to the kingdom of my heart. – Mike Leamon